remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
