.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
