In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Randomize
