thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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