Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
