dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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