you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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