my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I have peed in a lot of sinks
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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