We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
