yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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