I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
