His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
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