THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
