i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
