I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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