Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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