you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
