Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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