so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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