i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Randomize
