Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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