the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
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