True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
