these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
