She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I need water and some morals
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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