I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
