Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
