i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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