i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
