I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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