How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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