Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
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