he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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