dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Just high enough for therapy.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I am available for nakedness
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
