Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
