I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
