why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
