just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
