Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
