New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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