No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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