my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
