Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Randomize
