this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Randomize
