Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
