Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
