U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm too high and old for this...
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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