I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
