Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize
