Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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