Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
