If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
