brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize
