You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Randomize
